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So long, now its the blues....

Its been a while since my last post. I can't even remember when it was. Everything was moving along just fine but things are a bit different now. I was able to see my family in September and go enjoy Disney World. That was loads of fun! Then I was gone for weeks in TX. That was an experience. I just love to meet new people and hear of their own experiences. Learning from them and getting good advice. Now I am back in my own area and I am feeling a bit down. Its the silly holidays. People make such a big deal about it, that it makes me uncomfortable. Why should I put a tree up? No ones going to see it and then who will help me put it away? Its not my fault that I don't have family here, why should I be tortured by theirs? I've met another damn wolf well this one is more cat like.... I can't seem to keep to myself, must be the season. I don't want to get attached. The last one hurt alot and made me doubt my decisions. Should I have stay where I was at instead of letting it go? Some one said they were surprised that I don't have anyone. Do I look like I am dependant on other people? Am I not capable of taking care of myself? That comment left me speachless. It was said at an akward time. Stupid thing really. Now I am thinking about it. I hate doing that. Stupid brooding. I don't really care for negative thoughts, its the reason why I ignore them. They have all caught up to me and won't leave me be!!! It made me mess that closeness that I use to somewhat have. It really wasn't perfect but at least I wasn't alone. I always made do. I can tell this new one would be more attentive but only when around. It will be awhile before they will be. Other things are showing up and making life seem overwhelming. Time is short, will everything fit in the day? Should I add more to my plate? I need more but could I handle it all? Stupid holidays. I think I am going to get some cookies......

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April 2011
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